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The White House Offers Inventor of Teddy Ruxpin the “AI Czar” Position

In a surprise change of direction, The White House has reached out to Earl Forsee, the inventor of the 1986 smash-hit animatronic toy bear, Teddy Ruxpin, to replace Kamala Harris as “AI Czar”. The decision came from the President’s desk directly, after he wracked his brain for the most impressive AI mind that he has personally ever encountered.

When asked about his decision, the President recalls buying a Teddy Ruxpin for Hunter Biden on his 16th birthday. When the toy proved too advanced for his son, on account of not being able to load the cassette tapes correctly, President Biden admits that he spent a lot of time with the bear.

“I’d share my hopes and dreams with it… of one day becoming President,” said Biden. “And that bear could read and speak 13 languages. This is back in 1986! Seems to me that today’s AI is only catching up to the brilliance of Teddy Ruxpin.”

“Seems to me that today’s AI is only catching up to the brilliance of Teddy Ruxpin”

President Biden

The White House believes Mr. Forsee is the perfect candidate to solve the elusive alignment problem — aligning AI to human goals — by pointing to one of Ruxpin’s popular phrases, “Can you and I be friends?” The White House sees this as evidence that Forsee had solved the alignment problem long ago.

After reaching out to Mr. Forsee’s estate, however, they received the unfortunate news that Forsee passed in 2014, nearly a decade ago. The White House stated publicly that they were sorry to hear of Forsee’s passing, and also sorry to the American people for being slightly behind the news, which as they say, “hardly ever happens”.

Also making the President’s shortlist for a replacement AI Czar is John Connor, the lead male character in the Terminator series; and former-NBA star Allen Iverson, who was dubbed ‘AI’ and therefore “must know something”.

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