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Meta Creating “Threads”: Your Uncle’s Next Go-to Place to Bitch About the Government

In an unexpected but completely in-character move, Meta, formerly known as Facebook, has announced its latest social media venture named “Threads”. The service, initially rumored to be a home for Twitter dissidents, is now being marketed as the ultimate cyber arena where old farts can can engage in passionate, irrelevant online disputes.

Seemingly inspired by Facebook’s reputation as the virtual lounge of the older generations, Meta has decided to lean into the demographic rather than fighting it. Chris Cox, Meta’s Chief Product Officer, declared, “We’re thrilled to create another space for your Aunt to complain about the rising cost of milk and ever-changing tax codes.”

“The ability for users to interact with and bicker about current and past events in real-time is something we’ve worked hard on,” said a spokesperson for Meta. “We are providing a unique platform for users to dispute exactly how lazy the younger generations are, and even have a feature for complaints about controversial words appearing in the New York Times Daily Crossword, like ‘queer’ and ‘they/them’ to inspire heated discussions.”

Only time will tell if Threads manages to become the most engaging platform for our seniors to voice their disgruntlements and engage in lively debates. Meanwhile, younger users are relishing the prospect of quieter, ‘rant-free’ feeds.

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